When and Why are they Needed?

Protocol – a code prescribing strict adherence to correct etiquette and procedure.

Why have protocols and what do they do for us?

For Dominants – We all have different personalities and each personality has their own needs.  Type A1 personalities for example, tend to need organization and structure in their lives.  Other personalities are more relaxed but would like to minimize chaos and confusion.

For submissives – It gives a sense of accomplishment and success knowing and understanding what the ground rules are, how to conduct themselves, etc.  It leaves very little question in their minds if they are doing things just the way it is wanted.


Examples of Protocols that function well in any situation

Where to stand, sit, and wait

How to respectfully interrupt the dominant when the dominant is speaking

Greeting rituals

Opening Doors


Are Protocols Burdensome

Until they have been instilled as a second nature they can be, but once it has become second nature there is very little thought put into them, unless of course it is forgotten.  The actions performed in adherence to the protocols can become comforting.

Formal vs Casual, Lifestyle vs Vanilla

Setting different levels is important.  High protocol standards can be beautiful and comforting but it can also be tedious and frustrating at times.  Never forget the one most important thing …. the human factor.  Allow for free times, casual modes, and formal modes.  24/7 is possible with the right understanding.

How to Create Protocols

The most important thing to remember when creating protocols for your home is that they need to serve a purpose.  Protocols provide structure and organization to your everyday routine.  They can establish head space as well.  What is it you wish to accomplish with the protocols?  How difficult are they to maintain?  Are you willing to keep them enforced?